And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
