There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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