They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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