I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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