THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
