I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
