Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
