Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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