He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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