I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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