Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize