all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
