I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
