yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
