He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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