This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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