She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
