I just made out with a guy for $7.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
