The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize