as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
