you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
