I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
