I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's official drugs can't kill me
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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