I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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