its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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