ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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