A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize