i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize