I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
