I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
