what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize