I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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