the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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