idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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