Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
