FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
