We're like a lot better than the average bears
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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