a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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