the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I need moral support for this bender
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
