I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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