Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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