My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize