I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
