what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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