Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
