You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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