No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
