2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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