im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i think i have herpe
just one?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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