Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize