Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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