you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
