I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
sex in a hospital.. check
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
