Just fell off a train. Bad.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
