new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize