I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am available for nakedness
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dear god my vagina.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
